After having our last child who weighed a little over 9 pounds, I thought there was no way I would ever be able to go through that pain again. I remember asking god to just “take me” because the pain was unbearable. Partly because he was SO big and that he was ready to come out and the nurses told me to STOP pushing because my doctor hadn't arrived yet. I just kept think, “Seriously, we can not wait!” If you have never had a child vaginal or a child that weighed as much as my son did then you know what pain I am referring to When my Doctor finally did arrive (which was only minutes from when they called him) I started pushing. My husband was holding one of my legs as he counted and a nurse was holding the other. All of a sudden one of the head nurses that was also in the room, quickly pushed my husband out of the way, started pushing on my belly, all while my doctor was saying, ”We may need more help in here.” His shoulders were so big that they thought he may need more hands to get through the birth canal. YICKS!. After my perfectly healthy baby boy was born into this world I looked at his father and said this will pro bally be our last one. Even though more kids were once in the cards.
Now after that all went down, I decided against any form of birth control. I feel that if we were to get blessed with another child then it would be our path of life. I am a stay at home mom, of two, while my husband works road construction. Financially, we are doing ok. Some weeks we live pay check to pay check, but I always feel lucky that we have food on the table and a roof over our heads while there are some families who aren't as lucky. In our younger days we did rack up a little dept. And currently we just bought a new house, and have 2 student loans due on top of everything else. I feel lucky if there is $3.10 left in the checking account after everything is paid for. Also, with my husband working road construction he is gone all week long. When he is home on the weekends he likes to go hunting and fishing. Which I understand, he works all week long and deserves some free time. My argument is that he kids would also like to see him. Our relationship struggles a bit with the fact we can not see eye to eye in this area. Therefore, having another child might be a little difficult for us. But just like anything, something we could get use to. Which is a good thing, because on January 7th @ 1:18pm I took a home pregnancy test after being 4 days late, and it was positive.
I decided to change the format of my blog, and start taking things day by day. I would write about my struggles with being a single mom (during the summer) of 2 with one on the way. I figured that this would be a nice thing for me and my kids to look back on when we all get a little older. Even though I didn't do anything like this (even though I though it would be fun, just never started) for my first 2, I though I would be able to go and compare this pregnancy to theirs. Let the fun times begin!
1 month, 1 day along-
I have been late before, 2 days... 4 days, and took pregnancy tests with them all being negative. I always had that “What if” feeling, but knew that when I was pregnant I would know for sure. I feel that it is sometimes a waste of money to buy a pregnancy test. I mean they are $6 bucks, and if it is negative a waste of money (for me). The funny thing was, I would take the test, it would be negative and the next day I would get my period, waste. Same story every time. But this time I felt different. I felt that I didn't need to waste my money, because it would be positive.
I had some errands to run, and my husband stayed home with the kids. I felt this would be the prefect time to get a test. When I was about to walk down the isle there was an employ blocking my way. And of course for some reason, I always feel weird walking down “that” isle, like I am the only one and everyone is going to be looking at me. Well anyways, she was still down there, so I decided to skip it, Gods way of telling me I didn't need one. Well a couple days later I found myself in “that” isle once again. Bought the test, went home, and low and be hold just like I thought, it was positive! Now the ride begins, once again!
